Well, i was the same opinion as joe. But in the bios the settings were correct, and the dvd was connected to the board.
I remembered a program called tweakbios from miro.pair.com. With that one you can look into the chipset. I did download it, and there I saw that the second controller was disabled. Interesting ... Ok. Lets enable it. Boot to windows. DVD WORKED AGAIN !

Well in windows I saw that the dvd was SLAVE on the second port. So the bios disabled it, because there was no master ! My next idea was to reflash the old firmware (Now the cdrom was here and I could flash it). Reboot and voila ! Everything ok. DVD was master again. Something in the new firmware PLEASE BAN ME FOR SWEARING up my via-chipset because on the notebook of my friend the dvd was master !
greetings,
Rado